weight loss

My weight loss journey

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I don’t know where I started weight-wise when I began this weight loss journey. I’d stopped weighing myself, and even refused to look at the scale at the doctor’s office. I told them not to tell me the bad news. All I know is what size clothes I was wearing. I started this journey shortly after fitting into a 3X and now I’m down to a women’s size 12. If I had to guess, I’d say I’ve lost at least 50 pounds. It’s taken several years and a variety of weight loss programs.

I put on the weight in the midst of horrible chapter in my life that began about nine years ago. I’m not comfortable sharing the details, but it was bad enough that I ended up in the hospital more than one on suicide watch. I tend to eat my feelings, and because my feelings were strong and long-lasting, I quickly put on a great deal of weight.

As things settled down, I wanted to take off the weight that I’d gained, but that’s no small feat.

I tried a variety of low-carb diets, ordered frozen meals from Nutrisystem, and tried intermittent fasting. All of which worked for a while. But then I’d take a break from the diet and quickly start putting the weight back on. It was a yo-yo ride of losing weight, gaining some back, losing weight again, gaining some back. Often I would gain enough back that I’d be at a higher weight than when I started. It was frustrating and depressing. So far with my current program, although there have been periods of no weight loss, I haven’t had times of gaining the weight back. I consider that success after my previous weight loss experience.

Now I’m just doing a simple program of eating three meals per day with one small snack. I’m not eating sugar, and I’m going easy on wheat and grains. I’ve lost two sizes since starting this current way of eating about a year ago. Slowly but surely, I’m losing the weight I’d started to think would never come off. I’m currently experiencing a weight loss plateau so I may start measuring my foods to make sure I’m not eating servings that are too big. I also may follow a friend’s suggestion to make an appointment with a nutritionist.

I shrunk down into a size 12 last week, so my excitement is still fresh. I didn’t lose any sizeable amount of weight prior to changing sizes, but it seems that my body is reproportioning itself.

I still have a ways to go, but I feel hopeful that this time the weight will come off … and stay off!

 

Candy and “food neutrality”

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I’ve been working on weight loss and getting control of my compulsive food behaviors this year. I have a friend who I talk with regularly about my eating-related journey, and she believes it’s possible to achieve what she calls “food neutrality” where the food doesn’t call to you or tempt you anymore. I haven’t been sure what to think about the idea of food neutrality, but I experienced something this week that makes me wonder if there’s some validity to the concept.

Eight months ago, I stopped eating sugar. Cold turkey. Even went through withdrawals of sorts. Mainly headache, body aches, and overwhelming cravings. The discomfort lasted about a week, and then things settled down. No more physical symptoms, but still having cravings that I battled everyday. I talked to my friend everyday during this time, and her encouragement really helped. I have remained sugar-free for more than half a year. Amazing!

Fast forward to now.

Two weeks ago, I bought two large bags of candy to hand out to the trick-or-treaters on Halloween. I put the bags into a large bowl, and set it by the front door. Now, to give some context, on previous years if I’d bought candy early, I would’ve eaten the entire bag all by myself, and then would’ve needed to buy more candy to hand out. I’m a bit of a sugar addict and binge eater.

But this year it was different. I walked past the bowl of candy (all favorite candies, by the way), and I felt nothing. No cravings. No temptations. When I would look at the candy bowl, it felt almost like I was just looking at a bowl of dirt. Something inedible. Not food for me at all.

Is this what food neutrality is like?

On the other hand, I found myself thinking about the upcoming holidays and all the homemade treats that show up. Will my candy neutrality apply to homemade baked goods, too? I honestly don’t think so. Just thinking about those items (which will remain nameless so I don’t trigger myself) sends me into cravings. But knowing how eight months of living sugar-free set me free from candy, if I make it through the holidays and get some more time under my belt, perhaps food neutrality will show up for other temptations?

In the meantime, I’ll start this month of Thanksgiving being grateful for making huge strides with my weight, food, and body goals. Oh, and by the way, I’ve lost twenty-five pounds! Slowly, but I think, healthily.