binge eating

My weight loss journey

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I don’t know where I started weight-wise when I began this weight loss journey. I’d stopped weighing myself, and even refused to look at the scale at the doctor’s office. I told them not to tell me the bad news. All I know is what size clothes I was wearing. I started this journey shortly after fitting into a 3X and now I’m down to a women’s size 12. If I had to guess, I’d say I’ve lost at least 50 pounds. It’s taken several years and a variety of weight loss programs.

I put on the weight in the midst of horrible chapter in my life that began about nine years ago. I’m not comfortable sharing the details, but it was bad enough that I ended up in the hospital more than one on suicide watch. I tend to eat my feelings, and because my feelings were strong and long-lasting, I quickly put on a great deal of weight.

As things settled down, I wanted to take off the weight that I’d gained, but that’s no small feat.

I tried a variety of low-carb diets, ordered frozen meals from Nutrisystem, and tried intermittent fasting. All of which worked for a while. But then I’d take a break from the diet and quickly start putting the weight back on. It was a yo-yo ride of losing weight, gaining some back, losing weight again, gaining some back. Often I would gain enough back that I’d be at a higher weight than when I started. It was frustrating and depressing. So far with my current program, although there have been periods of no weight loss, I haven’t had times of gaining the weight back. I consider that success after my previous weight loss experience.

Now I’m just doing a simple program of eating three meals per day with one small snack. I’m not eating sugar, and I’m going easy on wheat and grains. I’ve lost two sizes since starting this current way of eating about a year ago. Slowly but surely, I’m losing the weight I’d started to think would never come off. I’m currently experiencing a weight loss plateau so I may start measuring my foods to make sure I’m not eating servings that are too big. I also may follow a friend’s suggestion to make an appointment with a nutritionist.

I shrunk down into a size 12 last week, so my excitement is still fresh. I didn’t lose any sizeable amount of weight prior to changing sizes, but it seems that my body is reproportioning itself.

I still have a ways to go, but I feel hopeful that this time the weight will come off … and stay off!

 

What do I eat?

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Someone asked earlier, now that I’m avoiding my binge foods and foods that I crave (mainly sugar and white flour with some crunch/salty items), what do I eat for my meals. This is a general list:
  • Breakfast is usually either oatmeal, fruit, yogurt, or some sort of egg dish (fried, scrambled, omelette, frittata).
  • Lunch could be yogurt (unsweetened and I add my own fresh fruit), whole grain sandwich, soup, curry, chili, tuna salad.
  • Snacks are usually some sort of fruit, cheese, or lunch meat.
  • Dinner can be most anything – fajita bowl, curry, soup, chili, frittata, whole grain sandwich, chicken salad, variety of salads, fish, meat, rice. Lots of veggies.
I try to stick to three meals per day with one snack. Setting a boundary around the eating helps keep me from bingeing … each meal has a beginning and ending. And then in between there’s no eating except for my one snack (that I try to keep small).
A friend of mine calls her daily snack her “floating fruit” because she always has fruit for a snack, but the timing of when she eats it floats to various times on different days depending on how she’s feeling.

Binges and Cravings and Withdrawls, Oh My!

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Hello. My name is Debi, and I’m a binge eater.

There are times when I start to eat and I can’t stop. I’ve been known to eat an entire large pizza all by myself. I can polish off a giant bowl of buttered popcorn and still be craving more. I can’t eat just one handful of berries; I have to eat every berry in the house, so my binges aren’t just unhealthy things. Yes, I binge on berries. But also candy. And doughnuts. And Lay’s Classic Potato Chips. And nachos. And so very, very many things.

Since I can’t touch these foods without risking a full-on binge, I decided to see what happened if I just avoided my binge foods all together. These are also foods that I often crave, so I suspected going Cold Turkey was going to be difficult. And it was. Sugar withdrawls. Cravings for pasta. Driving past the pizza place. Candy in the checkout line at the grocery store. Actually, almost every aisle in the grocery store contained items I binge/crave.

But I can say that I have now successfully given up my binge/craving foods for eight months! And I feel a hundred percent more in control of my eating. For me, just cutting back and eating moderately didn’t work because it’d set off cravings and binges. I’d just feel like a failure. Why couldn’t I eat in moderation like other people? It was a source of great shame.

So, for now, I’m avoiding sugars (including natural ones because I can binge on honey straight out of the jar); white flour (I don’t crave or binge whole grains so they’re okay); and many salty and crunchy things like popcorn, chips, French fries, and nuts. While I do binge on berries, I’ve left them in my diet because they’re so healthy. But I only bring a single serving size into my house at a time.

I don’t allow myself to go to the store or a drive-thru to satisfy a craving. I just wait it out. Eventually, it passes. But I’ve discovered that the longer I go without those foods that set off cravings, the less I crave them.

Also, I learned recently that binge eating is considered an actual eating disorder. And here I just thought it was my weird, secret eating habit.

And speaking of secrets, I’ve just let you in on a big thing in my life that was a source of shame, guilt, and secrecy. So not only have I found ways to successfully handle this eating problem, I’ve also found the courage to be open and rigorously honest about it.

Welcome to my world!

Evening binges

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I have a problem with binge eating in the evening. Even though I’ll be full from dinner, as soon as I sit down on the couch, or settle in for whatever my evening activity is, I want to eat something. Chips, popcorn, berries, candy, whatever’s easily accessible. I prefer salty crunchy things for my evening eating fests, but I’ll rummage through the cupboards and fridge for anything easy to eat.

Tonight I decided to slice a cucumber and put salt and pepper on the slices. Surprisingly enough, it gave me satisfaction. A little crunchy, a little salty, a limited amount. The other night I had some cheese slices. They were also satisfying.

I’ve found that much of my current weight loss journey is getting control of compulsive food behaviors. Like evening binges. Evenings in general are my biggest temptation times. Ideally I’d like to not be eating in the evening, but at least substituting in some healthier choices in smaller amounts appears to be a good first step.

Anyone else get the evening munchies?