habit

Habit Formation and Identity

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I was reading an article and it said that how you view yourself has a lot to do with how successful you’ll be with building new habits.

For example, if you’re trying to quit smoking and someone offers you a cigarette, you can say, “No, thank you, I’m trying to quit,” or you can say, “No, thank you, I’m not a smoker.” In the first option, you still identify as a smoker. In the second, you’ve changed your identity to that of a non-smoker.

Supposedly the change of identity helps with the success of the habit.

It made me think about a recent habit formation in my life. When I moved, I decided I was going to set the new habit of making my bed every morning. At first, I started out saying, “I’m trying to get in the habit of making my bed.” It felt like an effort, but the more success I had, I started to think of myself as someone who makes their bed every morning. And then the whole process got easier. I still had to consciously think about it, because I was still in the process of building a new habit. But it got easier once I’d changed my identity to “bed maker.” And now it’s grown into a real habit and I don’t have to think about it at all. 🙂

I’ve been trying to get into the habit of not making impulse buys at the store (not always successfully). I’m going to start telling myself, “I’m a person who doesn’t make impulse purchases.” We’ll see how that works out.

What identity shifts can you make to help with forming a new habit you’re working on?

I keep forgetting my Gratitude Journal

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I keep a little daily journal/notebook. It’s a spiral notebook that I leave open on my table. When I take my coffee break or lunch break, I sit down by the journal and write in it. Not a lot, mainly just thoughts I’m having that day. (Some of those daily thoughts end up as posts on my Facebook page.) 🙂

One of the most difficult things I find journaling-wise is keeping a gratitude journal. Not because I’m not grateful, but simply because I forget about it. Well, I surprised myself and I found an easy way to solve that issue.

If I piggyback habits on top of each other, I find it helps me keep up on them. So, what I’ve started doing with my gratitude journal is I’ve added it to my daily journal. At the top of the page, I write the date, and then just below that I leave three spaces for listing three things that I’m grateful for. Big things, small things, random things. Some days it’s hard, but I can always find something, even if it’s just listing my cats and what I had for breakfast. Before I write my journal entry, I have to write my three gratitude entries.

When I want to review what I’ve been grateful for lately, I just go back through my regular journal and there are the grateful entries right at the top.

Since I was already in the habit of doing a short journal entry everyday, it was simple and painless to add in some gratitude journaling. But keeping a separate Gratitude Journal wasn’t working for me.

Is there a new habit you’re struggling to create? Maybe there’s something that you’ve already established that you can piggyback the new habit onto.

New habits during new beginnings

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I just read that a change in circumstance can be a good time to start new habits. I’m hoping moving will provide me with the opportunity to get a strong start with some new habits.

I realized today that the new habits aren’t going to just magically appear. I need to plan ahead for what new habits I want to instill. I came up with these for starters: make my bed every morning, do a Ten Minute Tidy every evening, immediately pick up clothes left on the bathroom floor after showering, don’t let clothes pile up on the bedroom chair, don’t let dishes pile up in the sink, go through my paper piles (mainly mail) everyday.

Interesting that most of those things have to do with piles of something. Clothes, dishes, paper. Yep, I’m still a Piler. I need to keep in mind the idea that Pilers need to contain their piles. The dishwasher can act as a pile container for dishes and glassware. A laundry basket can also be a pile container. Maybe I can get a cute little basket to set on the counter where I’ll put my mail, with the goal to have the basket emptied by the end of the day.

A new start can also disrupt well-established habits because daily routines can be different in a new place. So I’ll need to guard against that happening. Also, if I don’t have an idea of what new habits I want to instill, I think I’ll just slip into new habits in the new house which won’t necessarily be positive habits if I don’t choose the habits ahead of time.

Also, instead of saying “don’t do” something, I think I’m going to need to rethink it into what’s the positive step or habit I need to do in order to accomplish the “don’t do it” goal. For example, don’t leave clothes on the bedroom chair becomes make a decision about what to do with the clothing by either hanging clothes up, putting them in a drawer, or tossing them in the laundry basket. The chair is essentially the “Chair of Indecision.” I need to make decisions about the clothes that would normally end up in the pile.

I’ll be without internet for a few days, so I might be in a place to establish new online habits, too. Like not playing Scrabble as much. 🙂

Tie a new habit to an existing one

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“When scheduling a new habit, it helps to tie it to an existing habit.” – Gretchen Rubin

I wanted to get in the habit of writing in my journal every day. I take my mid-day break from work sitting at a table by a window where it’s sunny, relaxing, well-lit, and comfortable. I thought to myself, “What if I tie my daily break with my journaling?” So, as a test, I started leaving my journal out on the table with it open to the next page and an uncapped pen ready to go. I was so surprised. It was almost magical. I’d sit down at the table with my coffee and immediately pick up the pen and start writing.

I do find I have trouble writing in my journal on days off, though, because I don’t have that built-it habit of sitting at the table. But five out of seven days is awesome!

I also tied in keeping a tiny gratitude journal. At the top of every page when I’m getting started, I list three things I’m grateful for. Then I start journaling.

It works for me. 🙂

My journal is just a simple spiral-bound notebook. Nothing fancy. And I don’t set a goal for how much writing to do or what to write about. I usually just write randomly until my break’s over.

I find that I get all sorts of ideas from this simple journaling practice. Writing ideas. Life ideas. Ideas to share with others. It’s been one of the most fruitful habits I’ve developed this year.

Dieting Loopholes

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I was recently reading the book Better than Before by Gretchen Rubin. It deals with the formation of habits. Rubin has a section in the book where she talks about loopholes people use to get out of following or creating good habits. I found while reading that the loopholes all have applications to dieting and eating well. A loophole is a way of thinking we use to excuse ourselves from positive behaviors. If we become aware of the loopholes we use, Rubin says we can stop kidding ourselves.

Moral License — I can be bad, because I’ve been good. I’ve earned it. For example, someone’s been losing weight successfully so they feel it’s okay for a little cheat on their eating plan.

Tomorrow Loophole — I can be bad today because I start my diet tomorrow. It doesn’t matter how much I eat today because I’ll be good tomorrow.

False Choice — I don’t have time to worry about eating well because I’m too busy.

Lack of Control — With everything that’s going on right now, I can’t be expected to stick to good eating habits.

“This Doesn’t Count” — I can eat this treat because it doesn’t count if it’s the holidays or a birthday or a wedding or a one time thing.

Concern for Others — I’ll hurt their feelings if I don’t eat this slice of cake they baked. I’m keeping junk food around the house for other people’s benefit.

Life Affirming — You only live once so why deprive yourself of that slice of cheesecake?

I think I’ve found myself using all of these excuses at one time or another. The loopholes apply to any habit you’re attempting to make in your life, or behavior you’re trying to change. It’s just that the diet ones resonated with me because I’m still following my new meal plan and hoping to make it into a lifelong habit.