inside the fabric of my feelings
in the warp and weave of my existence
you wove yourself into my life and
more than my heart broke that day
you took more than my hopes and dreams
you took more than life itself
as I doubled in agony the tears poured
drowning in the blood-tinged grief
my heart rendered into pieces
unfixable, surrounded in death and pain
did you rejoice in the torment you brought?
were you aware of the devastation?
I lost track of the hours days months years
one empty day weighing as much as another
the days were long the nights were longer
on those days when I gave up on life
were you pleased to have such an effect?
did you feel even the smallest regret?
as my heart kidneys organs failed
did you know you held the power of life?
did you know you held the power of death?
you don’t hold that power now
now I can count the days again
there may be joy missing
but there’s no longer torment
there may still be empty spaces
but there are new loves and joys
I gave you the power of life and death
but I have now taken that power back
I will never again give someone
the power to destroy me
even if you still rejoice in my pain
I refuse to let your joy torment me
I will always miss the you I used to know
the truest love and deepest friend
but I will never miss the you who you’ve become
the you who attempted to murder
the very fabric of my soul